Hometown: St. Clair, MI

First moved to Austin: December 2009

First Beer: Bud Light my Aunt gave me as she chaperoned my sister and I get drunk for the first time (Pucker shots included)

First Coffee Experience: With my Papa one morning. He made me drink it black. “That’s how they did it in the Navy. Cream ruins coffee.”

What would be the worst "buy one get one free" sale of all time? Children

What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever worn? When I was in 5th grade for some reason my mom let me leave the house in matching black Hanes sweatpants and sweatshirt and brown carhart boots. This memory still haunts me.

How do you feel about putting pineapple on pizza? If you’re going to put pineapple on a pizza bacon and dipping ranch must be included. I’ve worked at 5 pizza shops. I know my shit.



Hometown: Taco Town USA

First moved to Austin: 2003

First Beer: Schlitz

First Coffee Experience: Folgers



Hometown: North Richland Hills, TX

First moved to Austin: August 2009

First Beer: Natty Light from a dirty thirty, duh

First Coffee Experience: I was probably 5 yrs. old when I had my first taste. Been in love ever since.

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities? Eat a clove of garlic and scream into a pillow to rid of headaches demons. Garlic keeps them from coming back. Or if you have a sore throat, try gargling some olive oil.

What's the weirdest thing you have ever seen in someone else's home? Zane, a Komodo dragon

What is something that you just realized that you are embarrassed you didn't realize earlier? That the song "Escape" by Rupert Holmes is about cheating...I just thought he liked Piña Coladas...



Hometown: Las Vegas, NV

First moved to Austin: 2012

First Beer: CURRS

First Coffee Experience: My grandma and grandpa used to wake up before the sun rose no matter what day of the week and they would drink their coffee together at their dining room table. Whenever we all went on vacation to Colorado together, my grandma would still wake up early, but my grandpa would sleep in or get up and walk so I would wake up early to sit on my Aunt’s patio and drink coffee with my grandma and watch the sunrise. I definitely got started drinking coffee at a young age, which I know a lot of people look down upon, but it’s one of my greatest memories of hanging out with grandma. It brings me a lot of peace of mind about having a slow start to your morning and enjoying life’s simplicities.



Hometown: Philadelphia

First moved to Austin: 2004

First Beer: Icehouse. Didn't drink again till I moved to Austin.

First Coffee Experience: Sipping coffee for hours at the OG bouldin creek, hanging and chatting with the older Austin hippies.

What kind of cult would you like to start?
Cult of Rammstein

You're a mad scientist, what scientific experiment would you run if money and ethics weren't an issue? I would build and army of alchemically married chimera to do my bidding.

What two totally normal things become really weird if you do them back to back? Riding a motorcycle. Listening to vitas.



Hometown: Austin, Tx.

First moved to Austin: 1993

First Beer: Olympia at a pasture party. We gave an old timer $100 bucks and he brought back 15 cases and some change.

First Coffee Experience: I wanted some “energy” before a baseball game so I grabbed at Star*ucks Frappercheezy from a coner store on the way.
Half an hour later, I puked it up in center field.



Hometown: Artesia, NM

First moved to Austin: October 2018

First Beer: Probably a solid IPA.

First Coffee Experience: Back when it was the best part of waking up I had it in my sippy cup.

What's the most ridiculous fact you know? Fact: you can tell an alligator from a crocodile by who you see later and who you see after a while.

What's the funniest joke you know by heart? How can you tell an alligator from a crocodile...

If you were held at gunpoint and told that if you didn't impress them with your dance moves you would be killed, what dance moves would you bust out? Any number of sleek jazzercize moves.



Hometown: El Paso, Tx.

First moved to Austin: 1993

First Beer: Coors OG

First Coffee Experience: Seattle's Best 15 years ago, lol

What movie would be greatly improved if it was made into a musical? If you made the film In Bruges into a musical ( I am currently figuring out how to make this happen) because a shady character sends two hitmen to Bruges - a terribly old and quaint town in Belgium to go into hiding as a pretext for having one of them 'silence' the other one quietly after a career ending mistake he made.

What is something everyone looks stupid doing? People look stupid riding scooters, posing for Instagram photos, and wheeling out their entire office into a coffee shop daily.

If you were transported 400 years into the past with no clothes or anything else, how would you prove that you were from the future? I would tell people about the weather patterns and the Queen's death before it happens, maybe singing in autotune or really try to sell it anyway.




First moved to Austin: 9 YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING


First Coffee Experience: SKIPPING SCHOOL TO GO TO A CAFE

What would the world be like if it was filled with male and female copies of you? TOTALLY RULE

Is a hot dog a sandwich? NO

Is cereal soup? NO



Hometown: "214"

First moved to Austin: two double-aught seven

First Beer: probably the champagne of beers...I don't remember...I've drank since then.

First Coffee Experience: Miller high life.